It has come to my attention that almost everyone I know, or speak with on a regular basis, smokes. This is a shocking realization, given that I abhor smoking. At least, I thought I did. Now I'm not sure. I've spent my entire speaking life saying "ah, smokers, disgusting lot they are," (yes, I have always spoken like a Dickens character), yet now i find myself surrounded by the heavy coughs and lingering excuses for their curious habit. I would like to help all my friends quit in one go. But I fear this is going to take a super-human effort on my part. Ridding them of their cigarette holders (hands) is one way to go, but then there may be a slight backlash (albeit one I could easily repel). No, this is going to require some collective thinking.
How best could I rid my friends of this habit? Has anyone had any experience in this area? I've tried telling them about the impact it has on their bodies, to no avail. I was thinking I could set up some sort of reverse intervention. I would gather all my friends in a room and tell them that they have a problem. Or perhaps I should begin with just one of them ? - I know if I can break the weakest link in this spluttering chain, then the entire group will falter. Suggestions?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Guest Posting - Check
I have added another skill set to my blogging resume (to go along with posting almost weekly and making a solid effort to destroy the English language) - Guest Posting!
About a week ago, I was asked by my friend and fellow blogger, Allison, for my opinion on Canadian music. In the spirit of the Olympics, I accepted the challenge. Hopefully this won't be another in the litany of defeats for British athletes on Canadian soil recently. (Well, I'm kind of like an athlete. I wear lycra when I blog.)
For the resulting play list and my humble English opinion on the Canadian music scene, head over to her blog now! Or, you know, when you have the time. No pressure.
All death threats from Celine Dione fans will be forwarded to the appropriate sorting department. Sadly though, i am no longer accepting glitter-based death threats.
Anyway, yes, Allison's blog - check it out and let me know how i did.
About a week ago, I was asked by my friend and fellow blogger, Allison, for my opinion on Canadian music. In the spirit of the Olympics, I accepted the challenge. Hopefully this won't be another in the litany of defeats for British athletes on Canadian soil recently. (Well, I'm kind of like an athlete. I wear lycra when I blog.)
For the resulting play list and my humble English opinion on the Canadian music scene, head over to her blog now! Or, you know, when you have the time. No pressure.
All death threats from Celine Dione fans will be forwarded to the appropriate sorting department. Sadly though, i am no longer accepting glitter-based death threats.
Anyway, yes, Allison's blog - check it out and let me know how i did.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Does My Blog Look Fat In This?
Finally, my template problems are solved. Just like my fashion sense, I've settled on something which is simple and nobody can make fun of. (Everyone knows tassels are the new black.)
Welcome to Go Forth and Blogeth 2.0; where everything is different except the writing. (The one thing you might have wanted to change, i know.)
This week, I've been exploring the rather crazy world of ChatRoulette. Here's how it works - You're thrown headfirst into a conversation with a complete stranger from a place unknown. It's a simple concept with an even simpler site design. After you hit "play" on the site you'll see a picture of you on your webcam making the "wtf is this?" face. And from there your odyssey begins. You'll see a stranger in the top left-hand corner of the screen and then you can both decide whether you want to talk to each other. You can also decide to not use your webcam, but you might have trouble with people not wanting to begin a conversation with the black screen they see before them.
I've had 3 or 4 long-lasting conversations on the site - with people from all over the world ; South Korea, The Philippines, UK, France... and so i think it's a pretty brilliant concept. The problem, of course, with any new Internet site which is beholden to the unwashed masses, is that users may decide to show you things you might not want to see. This issue can be readily resolved with a quick click of the next button - hopefully before any images are burned into your mind.
This whole idea is nothing new, of course. Chat rooms in their various forms have been around since the 1500's .(May not be factually correct.) This instantaneous face-face connection with a stranger across the globe is something quite different, though, and if they can get rid of the freaks and turn the site into more of a user-friendly group-based area, it could have massive potential for growth.
While most of my would-be conversational partners saw me and immediately clambered for the next button, one out of every 7 or 8 people actually stuck around and had a conversation with me. I talked politics with a guy from Seoul. I helped (i think) a girl from Newcastle, UK solve an issue she had with her boyfriend and I talked with a girl from The Philippines about what they do there for Valentines Day.. apparently in Manila they have a giant hot-air balloon festival (if you need me next February 14th.. you know where I'll be.)
Chat Roulette - Great in theory. Simple. Sometimes weird. It's like we're twins. Maybe that's why I'm addicted to it? If you check out the site, let me know what you think!
Welcome to Go Forth and Blogeth 2.0; where everything is different except the writing. (The one thing you might have wanted to change, i know.)
This week, I've been exploring the rather crazy world of ChatRoulette. Here's how it works - You're thrown headfirst into a conversation with a complete stranger from a place unknown. It's a simple concept with an even simpler site design. After you hit "play" on the site you'll see a picture of you on your webcam making the "wtf is this?" face. And from there your odyssey begins. You'll see a stranger in the top left-hand corner of the screen and then you can both decide whether you want to talk to each other. You can also decide to not use your webcam, but you might have trouble with people not wanting to begin a conversation with the black screen they see before them.
I've had 3 or 4 long-lasting conversations on the site - with people from all over the world ; South Korea, The Philippines, UK, France... and so i think it's a pretty brilliant concept. The problem, of course, with any new Internet site which is beholden to the unwashed masses, is that users may decide to show you things you might not want to see. This issue can be readily resolved with a quick click of the next button - hopefully before any images are burned into your mind.
This whole idea is nothing new, of course. Chat rooms in their various forms have been around since the 1500's .(May not be factually correct.) This instantaneous face-face connection with a stranger across the globe is something quite different, though, and if they can get rid of the freaks and turn the site into more of a user-friendly group-based area, it could have massive potential for growth.
While most of my would-be conversational partners saw me and immediately clambered for the next button, one out of every 7 or 8 people actually stuck around and had a conversation with me. I talked politics with a guy from Seoul. I helped (i think) a girl from Newcastle, UK solve an issue she had with her boyfriend and I talked with a girl from The Philippines about what they do there for Valentines Day.. apparently in Manila they have a giant hot-air balloon festival (if you need me next February 14th.. you know where I'll be.)
Chat Roulette - Great in theory. Simple. Sometimes weird. It's like we're twins. Maybe that's why I'm addicted to it? If you check out the site, let me know what you think!
Monday, February 15, 2010
It's Valentines Boxing Day
Well, the heart-shaped chocolate boxes are already being marked down. The flowers are already dying. Huzzah! It's February 15th! I was supposed to write a Valentines Day post but I spent much of Sunday fiddling around with the blog, a story to which visitors to this pantheon of mediocre writing can and will attest. "All of your blogs have disappeared and your template has changed, " said a worried friend. Fear not, faithful readers ; the blog is up and running and all is well with the world once again. Oh, except Jimmy Fallon is still allowed on television.. sorry can't do much about that. Yet.
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Thoughts On... (Part 4)
Romance
I am the last person who should be attempting to make sense of this subject. As anyone who read about my last date will tell you, my romantic life should serve as a how not to guide for anyone looking for more romance in their own. In the process of looking for the Pam to my Jim, this is what I've learned about making a relationship work :
1) Do not, under any circumstances, if she asks whether you find another girl attractive, any other girl, say "Hell" anything. Hell yes = Obviously you're in love with her then. Hell no = Bit of a bastard. Apathy is your friend.
For example : "Do you find Jessica Alba attractive?"
"Meh, she's OK."
Any other response, even a slight pause for thought, could be taken in the wrong way.
2) Remember everything. Be the guy to remember her cat's middle name, which she told you 6 months ago while you were watching the most important game of the season.
3) Finally, and since I'm getting depressed thinking about romance, if your relationship plane is spiraling into the ground, try to end your time aboard on good terms. There's nothing worse than a bad breakup.
As most people reading this will be women, I'm sure they can offer better relationship advice for guys than I ever could. Ladies, where am i going wrong? Please, be brief.
I am the last person who should be attempting to make sense of this subject. As anyone who read about my last date will tell you, my romantic life should serve as a how not to guide for anyone looking for more romance in their own. In the process of looking for the Pam to my Jim, this is what I've learned about making a relationship work :
1) Do not, under any circumstances, if she asks whether you find another girl attractive, any other girl, say "Hell" anything. Hell yes = Obviously you're in love with her then. Hell no = Bit of a bastard. Apathy is your friend.
For example : "Do you find Jessica Alba attractive?"
"Meh, she's OK."
Any other response, even a slight pause for thought, could be taken in the wrong way.
2) Remember everything. Be the guy to remember her cat's middle name, which she told you 6 months ago while you were watching the most important game of the season.
3) Finally, and since I'm getting depressed thinking about romance, if your relationship plane is spiraling into the ground, try to end your time aboard on good terms. There's nothing worse than a bad breakup.
As most people reading this will be women, I'm sure they can offer better relationship advice for guys than I ever could. Ladies, where am i going wrong? Please, be brief.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My Thoughts On...(Part 3)
Not so great that one was it? Still, things can only improve..
Grass
People care too much about their lawns. I believe most of the world's ills can be traced back to over-zealous lawn care. Lack of water in third world countries - sprinklers. Increased cancer rates in developed nations - weed killing pesticides. There is a lawn-centric man who lives just around the corner from my house. One summer, i swear i saw him use scissors to precisely alter the edges of his 5-metre squared patch of grass.
He spends hours clipping, hosing and pruning this inanimate green happy-place. I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like; framed pictures of his true love in each stage of its development. Picture 1 is him holding a bag of soil, through to picture 140 of him on his riding mower. He hangs out with his friends to whom, when they say "i would rather watch grass grow than watch that movie" he responds, "Finally!," puts on his 3D glasses, makes some popcorn. runs outside, lays down and stares for hours at his green BFF. "Guys, watch this! - This bit is my favourite.." Forget the other side, the grass is greener on his.
I do not understand people who care deeply about their lawn and i probably never will. Unless you are a sheep, a cow or any other grass-eating quadruped, you have no business deifying this mystery green surface. We have all seen what the love of a lush green grass can do to the world to this point. If we cannot pull back the lawn-obsessed armies, it won't be long now before the phrase get off my lawn! is the catalyst for a war the likes of which we've never seen before : one where everyone will be wearing beige soil-stained gloves.
Grass
People care too much about their lawns. I believe most of the world's ills can be traced back to over-zealous lawn care. Lack of water in third world countries - sprinklers. Increased cancer rates in developed nations - weed killing pesticides. There is a lawn-centric man who lives just around the corner from my house. One summer, i swear i saw him use scissors to precisely alter the edges of his 5-metre squared patch of grass.
He spends hours clipping, hosing and pruning this inanimate green happy-place. I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like; framed pictures of his true love in each stage of its development. Picture 1 is him holding a bag of soil, through to picture 140 of him on his riding mower. He hangs out with his friends to whom, when they say "i would rather watch grass grow than watch that movie" he responds, "Finally!," puts on his 3D glasses, makes some popcorn. runs outside, lays down and stares for hours at his green BFF. "Guys, watch this! - This bit is my favourite.." Forget the other side, the grass is greener on his.
I do not understand people who care deeply about their lawn and i probably never will. Unless you are a sheep, a cow or any other grass-eating quadruped, you have no business deifying this mystery green surface. We have all seen what the love of a lush green grass can do to the world to this point. If we cannot pull back the lawn-obsessed armies, it won't be long now before the phrase get off my lawn! is the catalyst for a war the likes of which we've never seen before : one where everyone will be wearing beige soil-stained gloves.
My Thoughts On... (Part 2)
Well, that first one went well, didn't it? Try another..
Snow
I love the effect it has on people. It never ceased to amaze me at school that as soon as it started to snow at the beginning of the Canadian winter, everyone, even the Canadian kids who presumably bathed in snow when they were younger, would stare outside in subdued amazement at the wondrous invasion appearing from the sky. In the UK, a snowday would occur if someone even mentioned the subject on television. The mere prospect of a flake was enough to force people to stock up on canned goods and hunker down for the long haul. That was before this year of course when the weather Gods decided to pull the old switcheroo. Canada, at least here in the Toronto region, has received barely any snow this year and my friends back in Manchester have been sending me Morse code messages from beneath mountains of the icy white stuff (snow).
In a way I'm sort of delighted, if a little terrified by this turn of events. Some might see this as a sign of the forthcoming weather apocalypse Al Gore has been proselytizing. I, however see this as an absent message from above saying "Rob, if that is your real name, you've done too much shoveling these past few years. Take a break. Watch The Office."
I've also enjoyed the unseasonably warm weather because of the complete lack of ice on the ground. If there is a patch of ice somewhere on the sidewalk, i will find it. I could be used as an ice detector for the elderly as they make their journey to the bingo hall. After the detection you can usually find me flipped, feet flying through the air attempting a midair calculation to figure out the softest part of my body to land upon. I hate ice, yet quite enjoy snow. The combination of snow and ice is the great winter-time paradox. While you're enjoying the moment, naively gazing at the wonderful world around you, you're unknowingly one misstep away from being left on your backside in tears. (Speaking of which, please join me in three days for my Valentines Day post. I'm sure it'll be quite uplifting.)
Without snow, we wouldn't have the children's animated feature The Snowman (1982) which practically all my great Christmas memories are founded upon. No matter how much I try and hate it for the ice and freezing temperatures it comes pre-packaged with, snow will always have the innate ability to make everything seem better, if only for a retrospective moment. Where's my shovel?
Snow
I love the effect it has on people. It never ceased to amaze me at school that as soon as it started to snow at the beginning of the Canadian winter, everyone, even the Canadian kids who presumably bathed in snow when they were younger, would stare outside in subdued amazement at the wondrous invasion appearing from the sky. In the UK, a snowday would occur if someone even mentioned the subject on television. The mere prospect of a flake was enough to force people to stock up on canned goods and hunker down for the long haul. That was before this year of course when the weather Gods decided to pull the old switcheroo. Canada, at least here in the Toronto region, has received barely any snow this year and my friends back in Manchester have been sending me Morse code messages from beneath mountains of the icy white stuff (snow).
In a way I'm sort of delighted, if a little terrified by this turn of events. Some might see this as a sign of the forthcoming weather apocalypse Al Gore has been proselytizing. I, however see this as an absent message from above saying "Rob, if that is your real name, you've done too much shoveling these past few years. Take a break. Watch The Office."
I've also enjoyed the unseasonably warm weather because of the complete lack of ice on the ground. If there is a patch of ice somewhere on the sidewalk, i will find it. I could be used as an ice detector for the elderly as they make their journey to the bingo hall. After the detection you can usually find me flipped, feet flying through the air attempting a midair calculation to figure out the softest part of my body to land upon. I hate ice, yet quite enjoy snow. The combination of snow and ice is the great winter-time paradox. While you're enjoying the moment, naively gazing at the wonderful world around you, you're unknowingly one misstep away from being left on your backside in tears. (Speaking of which, please join me in three days for my Valentines Day post. I'm sure it'll be quite uplifting.)
Without snow, we wouldn't have the children's animated feature The Snowman (1982) which practically all my great Christmas memories are founded upon. No matter how much I try and hate it for the ice and freezing temperatures it comes pre-packaged with, snow will always have the innate ability to make everything seem better, if only for a retrospective moment. Where's my shovel?
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