Sunday, January 3, 2010

Hello 2010, Welcome to Planet Earth

After the wars, global financial meltdowns and celebrity deaths, 2009 has finally decided it's time to hand over the apocalypse countdown clock to 2010. I, for one, couldn't be more pleased. 2010 sort of feels like the song you hear on the radio after a Celine Dion song. You're just so glad the terror is over that you're willing to buy that band's entire collection on vinyl, CD and cassette. If it weren't for the eerie lack of natural disasters i would have to put 2009 right up there as the worst year on record. So, i can safely predict that as long as we don't all spiral into a swirling vortex (or any sort of vortex, really) 2010 will be a better year. Actually, even if we do..

And 2010 is already off to a good start - I spent the last few hours of 2009 at stranger's house partying with people i don't know, drinking clear liquids and playing beer pong as is customary at that time of the year. Deciding it was better to stay indoors for the night than test ourselves on the highway against the effect of alcohol, we camped out in a friend's basement.

I awoke to the feeling of something licking the side of my face. Laying with my eyes closed for a few nervy moments, i was hopeful that i would see an animal or at the very least someone i could physically remove from my immediate surroundings when i opened my eyes to 2010.

Fortunately, this 10lb canine was no match for me in my hungover state and i immediately carried her over to my friend's bed so she could find a more understanding host. Whether you take this small tale as a sign that 2010 will be a warmer more pleasent and welcoming year than its predecessor, or a sign that i should stop drinking and passing out on blankets cleared reserved for animals is yours to decide. For now -

Happy New Year & Best of Luck to You All in 2010.


Captain Dumbass said...

Try to take it as a good sign. Maybe the government will stop being asshats and give you a warm smelly dog kiss this year as well. It's too bad you aren't a war criminal or a convicted mob boss or something. Immigration Canada has a warm spot in their heart for those guys.

Rob said...

Captain Dumbass - Superb point. I just dont have the eyebrows to be a war criminal unfortunately. And while i am a card carrying member of the mob, i am yet to be convicted so i am still to recieve my hug from Mr. Harper and Co. Happy New Year, Captain!

Allison said...

Lack of Natural Disasters? What about the Tsunami or Katrina?

Rob said...

Allison : Yes, both of those would be horrific natural disasters. Neither of them occured in 2009 though. Unless there was a Tsunami in 2009 that affected just you. In which case, i apologize profusely.

Allison said...

Sorry, I was thinking about the decade not the year.