Saturday, May 15, 2010

One Man's Trash

Today my next door neighbour is having a garage sale. It's an exciting day in the life of a neighbourhood when a person puts their belongings on  plastic tables beneath the afternoon sun and offers up their memories at bargain prices. After a brief 2-minute mosey next door, I discovered that today's memories include but are not limited to such items as :  picture frames, a coffee maker, a microwave, a Nascar toy collection and possibly best of all, a t-shirt that reads "what's up, bitches?" (Sadly, its XXL fabric expanse would have acted as a blanket/parachute for my not XXL frame. One man's trash and all that.)

Every 20 minutes or so, a new person comes by to wander around the smattering of tables on the front lawn - lifting the coffee maker to check for breakages, measuring the picture frames (I'm assuming to see if the t-shirt would fit within) and pressing buttons on the once white-coloured microwave.

If this afternoon's gathering is anything to go by, bikers love garage sales. Earlier, there was a wave of black leather riding atop a sea of silver steel outside my living room window. That must be the infamous antiquing gang out of Hamilton, Ontario.

The event is now coming to a close it seems. The initial neighbourhood buzz about the microwave finally ebbing way, the remaining items are being packed (read : hurled) into a cardboard prison from which they will surely never escape; not if the ominous black marker label "basement stuff" is anything to go on.

About twenty minutes ago, midway through this blog entry I had the idea of giving them $20 to buy everything, and then immediately setting up my own table outside on my lawn and re-selling their items for profit to the numerous folk still lingering in the area. But obviously I decided against the idea, for fear of  A) being referred to as the "the guy who sold me that t-shirt," and B) upsetting a neighbour who may have some sort of gang affiliation.

All that's left now on the lawn is a sign that reads "Cheap Housewear". I think I just figured out how they could make use of that t-shirt AND save money on their heating bills.


Heather Howell said...

I totally need a coffee pot. Haha.

Sarah said...

haha. This one cracked me up. I made Sparta read it immediately.

Also, who has a garage sale in the afternoon??? Everyone knows you have to get up at the crack of time an set things up while your eyes are still shut.