Friday, February 12, 2010

My Thoughts On... (Part 4)


I am the last person who should be attempting to make sense of this subject. As anyone who read about my last date will tell you, my romantic life should serve as a how not to guide for anyone looking for more romance in their own. In the process of looking for the Pam to my Jim, this is what I've learned about making a relationship work :

1) Do not, under any circumstances, if she asks whether you find another girl attractive, any other girl, say "Hell" anything. Hell yes = Obviously you're in love with her then. Hell no = Bit of a bastard. Apathy is your friend.

For example : "Do you find Jessica Alba attractive?"

"Meh, she's OK."

Any other response, even a slight pause for thought, could be taken in the wrong way.

2) Remember everything. Be the guy to remember her cat's middle name, which she told you 6 months ago while you were watching the most important game of the season.

3) Finally, and since I'm getting depressed thinking about romance, if your relationship plane is spiraling into the ground, try to end your time aboard on good terms. There's nothing worse than a bad breakup.

As most people reading this will be women, I'm sure they can offer better relationship advice for guys than I ever could. Ladies, where am i going wrong? Please, be brief.


Allison said...

You should include an advice column on this blog.

Dear Bert,

I like this boy but I don't think he likes me. How can I tell?

Rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S.I.F. said...

Uh, yeah; as a woman, I've got no better advice for you! I am a breaker of all things relationship-like. Even when it seems like it is heading in all the right directions, I manage to find a way to destroy it. I'm pretty sure it's my super power!

I do have a "I heart Jim" t-shirt though. It has big heart with Jim Halperts face in the middle of it. I actually wear it!

Rob said...

SIF : So it's possible for a woman to be as bad at all this relationship stuff as i am? This should be some sort of CNN breaking news. Also, that's a pretty awesome super power to have.

Haha. That t-shirt sounds amazing. I need to find one, stat. Oh, except i guess i should put Pam on there. But, Jim's just so dreamy.

The Analyst said...

Know your pain, how not to guides huh? Really nice post, enjoyed reading